To change or not to change...

On an unusually warm weekend afternoon about a month ago, I walked into Diane T. on Court Street in Cobble Hill. They were having a sale and it was bedlam. I approached the sale rack and immediately a white sparkly number caught my eye. $750 marked down to $525. It was a hot dress but I was too overwhelmed by the crowd, the lack of ventilation, the price, and the fact that my fiance was waiting for me to return home (without shopping bags).

But I couldn't get the dress out of my mind. I asked my friend Joie at work what she thought of a bride changing halfway through her wedding reception. A total diva, she replied, "Oh, I'll change at least five times!" I told her about the sexy white frock that was marked down and that had caught my eye a few weeks earlier. She urged me right then and there to call the store and make sure they still had it.

The next day I was back at Diane T. I was met by the owner, Diane T., and a friendly and eager, young sales associate. The store was relatively empty as the two women prepped the tables and racks with colorful spring inventory.

I tried on the Catherine Malandrino dress (from the winter holiday collection) which was actually half off the originally marked $750! A steal at $375! It didn't zip over my breasts, but looked dynamite everywhere else. I was pretty bummed.

When the young sales associate asked what it was for, I told her I was deliberating about changing into a party dress for the second half of my wedding in New York City. She loved the idea and shared in my disappointment that the dress did not fit. I felt defeated, so I did what any sensible shopper would do, I browsed the rack some more. I came across a black shirt-dress with flowy, butterfly-like sleeves. It fit and I loved the look. It too was half off, so I bought it.

As I approached the counter to pay, Diane T. asked what occasion the white dress would have been for. The young sales associate answered for me and told her it was for my wedding. The owner's eyes widened then as her jaw dropped. She said she was going to guess that it was for my high school graduation. You could imagine her shock when I told her I was 30.

I could have kissed Diane T. when she said that, but instead a flood of other thoughts rushed through my head like, "What parent would ever let their 18 year old daughter wear that to her graduation? Was the graduate a star on Gossip Girl? Do I look like Billy Ray's offspring? How would an 18 year old girl afford a dress like this? Am I really in the same salary cap as an 18 year old girl, or better yet, her parents?"

When the compliment wore off (by the way, I had my hair in a ponytail and was wearing a short, pink plaid dress, looking unusually young that day), a long conversation ensued about changing into a party dress halfway through the wedding. Christina Aguilera had done it, Ivana Trump most recently did it, and I learned that Diane T. had done it, too!

An hour after I entered the store I left two friends richer, and $125 poorer. I walked in for something white and walked out with something black and still don't know if I am sold on changing from a gown and into a party dress on my wedding day. So I leave you, my readers, with this question: To change or not to change?

Mom, no need to take the poll, I already know your answer.

Letting go of the designer name...

I've finally found my wedding dress. Saying "finally" is kind of funny because it wasn't like I had a hard time finding one, or two, or even three. When I shop, I'm impulsive and act with a kind of fervor that I would liken to a kid in a candy store. Want proof? I had my maid of honor's dress picked out and paid for before I even began the search for my dress!

I wasn't the least bit surprised when I saw what a non-traditional bride I was turning out to be. I didn't want to wear white and wouldn't be caught dead in a poof. So it made all the sense in the world that I should set out on my wedding dress hunt by targeting my favorite designer, Marchesa.

I bought dress #1 on the Internet: A champagne lace gown with a vintage appeal that I just adored. It was gorgeous, but somehow NOT right for a backyard, garden ceremony.
I sent it back.



Thanks to a sultry redhead who I shared a Saks Fifth Avenue dressing room with, along came dress #2: Monique Lhuillier's Iman gown. While she tried on poofs, I tried on sleek, silky numbers that were akin to the lingerie I had hanging in my closet at home. When I put on the Iman I told her that I thought my fiance would approve and that he would probably devour me in it. She replied, "Are you kidding, I'd devour you in that!" So I bought the Iman at at a bottom-bargain, sample sale price, and told myself there were others after Britney who wore Monique on their wedding day. I took it home where it sat in a Saks garment bag in my closet for months, putting off the inevitable... the dress needed work. It turned out that the dress was going to cost more money to alter and preserve than I had paid for it. All I have to say is thank goodness for eBay.

When I was willing to let go of the designer name -- hey, what can I say, I live in New York -- I found dress #3. THE dress. I was with mom, not a mouse and not an anonymous redhead. Picture to come post-wedding... after all, some things should be a surprise!